Pain, Suffering, Refuge: Part 3

A path forward: wisdom, ethics, and open minds. Because right now, the world needs all the decent people it can get.

A path leading up into the mountains with a rainbow in the distance.
Photo Credit: Johannes Plenio on pexels.com

A way forward, by Jude.

Continued from Pain, Suffering, Refuge: Part 2.

I have at times been accused of trying to convert people to a religious way of life. I can understand the sentiment; believe it or not, it always puts me on edge when people talk a little too much about Jesus. 

But remember: I have tried just about every practice out there over the last 20 years, so far be it from me to say anybody should pick one. Even I couldn’t pick one! Every practice has its merits, but, as a self-proclaimed Buddhist Catholic, I have settled on the two that speak to me. 

I try to be careful only to teach things that help us understand how to carry ourselves in the world and can easily be applied to any spiritual or religious practice (even atheism). The practices themselves are beneficial whether you align with a spiritual tradition or not. 


A good place to start thinking about “how to be” in the world is the Four Noble Truths. 

A couple weeks ago I wrote about the First Noble Truth and how it describes the universal and inevitable nature of suffering, or the sense that “something just ain’t right.”

The Second Noble Truth tells us the cause of suffering: clinging, grasping, or attachment. That is, grasping for things we want or pushing away things we don't want. Both of those actions are futile. The thing we want will always change or go away, and the thing we don't want will eventually make its way into our lives. Good things happen, but so do bad things. And bad things come to an end, but so do good things.

Suffering happens when the thing we desire changes or disappears, or when we see the world to be different from how we desire it to be, and we struggle to make it what we want. That struggle is called suffering. Change is inevitable – the Buddhists call this impermanence – so if we cling to something that can't help but change, then we can't help but suffer. 

So, if clinging is the root cause of all suffering, then to be free we should practice non-clinging (or simply, “hold things lightly”). But how do we practice non-clinging, especially when we can't see all the clinging we have? How can we practice non-attachment when we don't know where we’re attached?

Enter the Third Noble Truth (there is a path to end suffering) and the Fourth Noble Truth (that path is the Eightfold Path). 


If you google “Eightfold Path,” you’ll probably find this list: right understanding, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration.

First off, right understanding, right intention, etc., is a not-great English translation of the path. In the Judeo-Christian world there's a lot of baggage around the word “right.” In my mind, it implies black and white thinking: if it’s not “right” then it’s “wrong,” and if you do “wrong,” you’ve sinned, and you go to hell.

That's not what the Buddhists mean (and, in my humble opinion, not what the Gospel means either ... but I digress). The Buddhists don't talk about right and wrong so much as wise and unwise. Wise actions lessen the suffering in the world while unwise actions increase it.

Andrea Fella of the Insight Meditation Center uses wise understanding, etc. when she describes the Eightfold Path. I found this to be very helpful. 


The Eightfold Path is not a sequential list you work your way through. It’s more like each step is layered or intertwined. You work with them all simultaneously, and steps in one direction support your steps in the others. The eight folds of the path are grouped into three themes: developing wisdom, (wise understanding, wise intention), behaving ethically (wise speech, wise action, wise livelihood), and cultivating our minds (wise effort, wise mindfulness, wise concentration).

Developing wisdom

·      Wise understanding. The first step on the path is to understand that the path itself is beneficial. Just as the last of the Four Noble Truths points to the Eightfold Path, the first layer of the Eightfold Path points back to the Four Noble Truths. To walk this path, it helps to see the world through the lens of suffering, its cause, our ability to end it, and the path leading to its end. When we see and understand grasping, attachment, clinging, and impermanence as the root causes of our suffering, then we can take the necessary steps to address those causes. 

·      Wise intention. This is an internal commitment to continue walking the path and cause less suffering in the world. It’s helpful to consider the ripples our actions cause as if they were pebbles dropped in a pond. We need to understand why we are on the path.

Behaving Ethically. There's a meme flying around the internet: Thoughts become words. Words become action. Action becomes habit. Habit becomes character. Character becomes destiny. Though the Buddha didn’t say this, it's a pretty good encapsulation of the next three layers of the path.

·      Wise speech. Words become action, as the meme says, and they often cause lasting harm when wielded carelessly. In general, anything we say should be kind, true, helpful, and timely.

·      Wise action. This is about reducing suffering through what we do in the world and usually points to the moral precepts of Buddhism. In general, we should avoid: lying, taking what is not given, misusing intoxicants, killing, and causing harm through sexual misconduct.

·      Wise livelihood. This is about how we make our living. Again, the idea here is to not cause more suffering. The Buddha did provide a list of careers to avoid: slaughtering of animals, manufacture of weapons, dealing in intoxicants and poisons, and selling people into slavery or prostitution (there are likely some twenty-first century occupations the Buddha might add to this list). The idea here is not that these occupations make a person “bad” or “evil.” But engaging in these kinds of activities makes it very difficult to lead a wise life and follow the moral precepts. When in doubt, we should ask ourselves: Does my livelihood support my deepest intention?

Cultivating our minds.

·      Wise effort. This is about the energy we put in to moving along this path. It's possible to not put in enough effort so we make no progress, but it's also possible to put in too much effort so we become exhausted or attached to the practice itself. And with that attachment, ironically, our practice to end suffering becomes the very cause of our suffering! Wise effort is like the engines of a ship, moving at a steady pace to help the ship move to its next destination. 

·      Wise mindfulness. This is about being aware of what is happening right now, about doing our best to keep our awareness in the present. If wise effort is like the ship’s engine moving us along, then wise mindfulness is like the watch stander on the bridge of that ship, always noting where we are relative to the plan and adjusting to get back on track if necessary.

·      Wise concentration. This is more than being able to focus our minds on a single thing, though we do learn that in meditation practice. Wise concentration is also about keeping our end goal in mind, to end suffering for ourselves and others. In that same ship analogy, wise concentration is like the navigation plan: Knowing where you started, where you want to go, and having a track to get there.


It's a lot. If you choose to embark on this path, either as an all-in kind of thing or to supplement your existing faith and practice, the most important thing to remember is that 97% of the time you will mess it up. And that's fine. There are a lot of forces pushing us to stay exactly the way we are.

In any week of practicing, say, wise speech, you might only get it right once. Well, that one time you get it right is cause for celebration! In time, you might get it right two or three times in a week. In this sort of practice where we intentionally rewrite our mind’s factory settings, progress is slow and linear before it is rapid and exponential. This takes time.

One teaching, The Nava Sutta, offers a helpful analogy for how to practice with the different layers of the path. It says a mother hen does not need to consciously will her chicks to hatch. She doesn’t need to measure their progress or create charts or stress about perfect temperatures. She doesn’t need to stand up and check on them and wonder if she’s doing it right. She doesn't think, “what must I do to make the chicks hatch?” All she knows is she must sit on them and keep them safe. Then, in due time, the chicks will hatch.

Likewise, we need only to practice the layers of the Eightfold Path. Think about the effects of our actions before we carry them out. Speak in a way that is kind, true, helpful, and timely. Sit down and breathe and see how things are right now, easing our minds away from flying to the future or dwelling in the past. If we do those things some of the time (and consistently), then, in due time, little by little, non-clinging and non-attachment will be born.


If you don’t know where to start, I have two recommendations.

First, start with behaving ethically (speech, action, livelihood). Because right now, the world needs all the decent people it can get.

And second, connect with others. That can be friends, family, community, the other people that read this blog (connect through the comments section!), or any combination. As I mentioned above, there are a lot of forces pushing us to stay exactly the way we are. Our connections keep us honest and aligned with our principles, and set us straight when we wander off the path.

None of us alone is perfect. But together, we are pretty dang close.


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